De-Selfing and the Church (by Mr Sayers)

Humans have always been self-centred. You just have to read the book of Genesis to be reminded of the fact that self centeredness is not just a modern phenomenon. However many of us sense that we have reached a new level of obsession when it comes to ourselves.

Why is this so? One of the main reasons is that the natural rhythms of life contained mechanisms that forced us to take the spotlight off of our selves and to focus on others. Such mechanisms could be work, responsibility, periods of suffering, marriage, or children. However today we have begun to flee from these mechanisms. Cultural Commentator Anne Manne describes how as a culture we have begun to fear the de-selfing mechanisms of child rearing.

“We prolong adolescence, a time of self-centredness, well into middle age. We are skittish about children, a project that, to be done well, requires investments of time and energy not in the self, but in another human being. We delay their arrival indefinitely, or look around when the do arrive for someone else to take responsibility for rearing them.”

So in a culture that runs from that which makes us less narcissistic, the church faces some interesting and weighty challenges. For one of the greater purposes of the Church is to make us more Christlike and thus less self focused. Therefore just as our culture fears and keeps at a distance anything which make take the focus of ourselves, often the church will also be kept at a distance, particularly elements of church life such as commitment, community life, and the spiritual disciplines.

This is where ministers, pastors and church leaders face an ethical challenge, do we keep the elements of church which works against our selfishness or for the sake of perceived success soften them? Does the church remain as a mechanism which helps us to de-self and become more Christ like, or do we change the church into something which expands the individual, giving self-help with a christian veneer?

Twelve Steps Toward Enhanced Church Decline

Another Twelve Steps Process?

Certainly nearly everyone has heard of at least one of the myriad of "Twelve Steps" recovery programs for addictions, eating disorders, etc.

Contrast those recovery systems with this special "Twelve Step" Program for increased congregational stress. Followed religiously and consistently over a period of time, this "Twelve Step" program will almost certainly guarantee that you will be pastoring a declining ministry in only a few short years...or sooner (that is, if you or the church lasts that long!)

The Twelve Steps
1. Blame someone else for your problems...and expect others to take care of them for you. After all, they are supposed to bear my burden, aren't they? Besides, how is this church ever to get anywhere as long as this church has any problems? We'll just have to wait until the problems are all taken care of. Then we can start to move ahead.

2. Be a victim, act like a victim, lead like a victim, and respond like a victim. After all, doesn't God help victims? Just sit and wait for God. Someday He'll fix your problem for you and make it all better. Then you can have a happy ministry.

3. Resist change regularly, religiously, and righteously. Avoid seeking new challenges and pursuing new initiatives. Divert initiatives which might prove uncomfortable, refreshingly different, or those things which "just won't work here." Be sure to structure a "sound" Biblical argument for your "pious" position. After all, you are the pastor. Isn't that your job?

4. Keep on doing more of the same. As they always say, "The old way always works better if you work harder." And didn't God, the Bible or some religious person say, "God helps those who help themselves?" If you're really dedicated, you'll work really hard...for Jesus of course. Now get to work...harder!

5. Make your organization as peaceful as you possibly can. Make for a peaceful today even if you have to mortgage the organization's future. After all, if we can make today peaceful, we can certainly make our future peaceful too, can't we?

6. Control everything you possibly can. Intervene whenever possible. After all, everyone loves a "hero"...especially religious ones. Grab for control at every opportunity. It is for their own good, right? If necessary, go down fighting for this control if you need it. Isn't that what "faithfulness" is all about?

7. Hang on to the expendable, the inefficient, the unimportant, the habitual, the comfortable, and the familiar. After all, God loves the simple things, doesn't He?

8. Pull back, take your time, minimize the risk, delay every decision possible and, above all, play it safe. After all, there's really no need to have members involved in visionary discussions which will only require pain, sacrifice, and growth to implement...is there? Besides, God wants His money used for more important things.

9. Fight as many battles as you can, defend the undependable, and take your eye off that which is important and essential for "winning the war." After all, who has time to look at the big picture when they're so pre-occupied with hustles and bustle of the the day-to-day and moment-by-moment tasks of ministry?

10. Attend to your own, your members', your leaders', your staff's, and your church's survival needs. After you have completely taken care of all their needs, then devote all of whatever energy remains for the unchurched. After all, the unchurched probably don't really care anyway. If they did, they'd be in your church, right?

11. Motivate others by guilt, manipulation, fear and other mind-games as much as possible. Watch over their every move. Intervene to "fix" what they did wrong every single time they fail. After all, it is their church. You wouldn't want them to be making mistakes now, would you? And, if it isn't just so, can you imagine how many people would be upset? We can't have that! After all, this is a church. It's God's house!

12. Take God off the "shelf" only when you want to bring Him to worship or when you need Him to get you out of trouble. After all, what more could He be doing in the church that you aren't already doing? Besides, if He gets the idea to do something miraculous and exciting, can you imagine how it would hurt this church? Do you know how many people would get upset? It would simply be downright ungodly, now, wouldn't it?

What i've learnt by Josh Dbaull

I’ve learned that people are constantly in transition, but rarely ever where they actually are at the moment.

When and where are simple instructions, but being on time can distract us from the beauty of the world around us. Take your time, enjoy the road, skip along the path whenever possible.

When talking to a friend about life, and the way they wish it were, not only is the grass greener on the other side, the air is better, the fence looks prettier and they have cookies. Don’t argue, slap them in the face and help them move on.
When it comes to family, get to know them, if at all possible adopt them, you never know when they could be gone for good. Our families are the best link we have to our past and the only people who have a responsibility to stick with us in the future. But always be on the lookout for that new family that might live right next door, don’t be shy to adopt them either.

People and institutions are much more apt to forgive than to give permission, I think this is why people who innovate and transform our world get into the circumstances that create their character. They simply start to pray with their legs.

Never turn down a drink under any circumstance, I learned this from reading Mark Twain.

Often the most appropriate thing for one to say in situations where someone is in real need of good advise is to say that which is utterly cliche, for it usually happens to be the more truthful thing one can say. To listen first and to speak later, to be present in a real sense, to simply be there when there is nothing else one can do or say.

In I have learned much about the gift of life from movies, ‘Terminator II’ for example, when a machine learns to value human life, maybe there is hope for the rest of us. This was influential for me when I was in the second grade.— ‘The Shawshank redemption’, where I came to know the beauty of music and thought as something that no one can ever take away.—’Life as a house’, where the father in the movie says he always thought of himself as a house, it didn’t need to be big or beautiful it just needed to be his, if he were a house he would want to be built on rock facing the sea.—’Schindler’s list’ which taught me about humanities inhumanity.—’Finding Forrester’, which taught me that no one is beyond hope, that a life wasted can be turned around in an instant.—’The Lord of the Rings’, which taught me about friendship and sacrifice. These thoughts may sound strange but if I am completely honest, many movies have guided my moral compass in more profound ways than the churches I have spent so much time in over the years ever have.

I’ve learned that the world is both much more tragic, simple and detestable than I ever thought possible while at the same time it remains much more peaceful, complex, and beautiful than I can comprehend.

People are mysteries, who they are and who they believe themselves to be are at such odds with each other, they stand as a paradox, we love until there is only pain, and then in that same instant there is no more pain, only more love.

I have learned that the mysteries life might be better thought about in rhythms . Nature has it’s rhythms, sunsets and sunrises, winters and summers, high tide and low tide, weather patterns, growing seasons, etc. But we humans are out of rhythm, we are constantly at odds with the rhythms of nature attempting to make the earth bow to our whims, we are in such need of rescuing .

I have learned much about Theology, and could discuss the principles of advanced (insert here)-ology but that from all that studying, writing, arguing and head-knowledge I have learned very little about God.

I have learned that discipleship is a Christian’s political responsibility, and that living in community is essential to the life of the Church, for without the courage that is given to the body of Christ from other members of that body one cannot expect live out the kingdom of God on earth as it is in heaven. There is much, much more to this statement, but most of these sound bites are relatively short, so I will leave the why questions to your imagination, (IN OTHER WORDS I TRUST YOU)
These are a few things that I have learned, I wish I took more time to reflect upon where I have come from, maybe these thoughts may provoke you dear reader to reflect for yourself.

Peace