Why young adults leave the church Part 3 of 5 - Mark Sayers

Reason # 3 -The Pornification of ChristianResources

Recently an Otaku(Manga Fan) wrote a book which has sold like sushi in Japan. His book was addressed to the millions of young Japanese men who live their lives online and who immerse themselves in the fantasy worlds of Japanese animation. His thesis was that advances in technology now mean that young men do not need RL (real life) relationships with real world women. He argued that with the advent of ‘mistress programs’( virtual girlfriend computer programs, kind of like Tamagotchi’s but featuring attractive young women), no longer did men need to bother with ordinary women. He also argued that with the growth of the internet and with widespread availability of pornography, young men could enjoy a kind of virtual sexual relationship with the women of their dreams.
We see the same thing in thein the West, less people are getting married than ever before in history.With the casualization of sex, young men do not need to commit to long term relationships with women, because these days you can sleep withthat girlwho you just met at a party and still be home in time to join the FIFA 2008 tournament with the boys on the playstation.
A kind of similar phenomenon is occurring around church. I am constantly meeting young adults who are still passionate about their faith, but are no longer part of a faith community. When I ask them why, they tell me that there is no need. I ask them how they grow as Christians? They will tell me that they download podcasts from some of the worlds best preachers, they watch sermons on line from cutting edge churches, they read books from well known Christian writers, and attend all kinds of conferences and worship seminars. Some even regularly go on ‘mission trips’ to the third world. Many now choose to not go totheir local church because every Sunday they can roll out of bed at midday and turn on Christian cable and watch services from the world’s most successful churches.

They read blogs and frequent Christian chat rooms to connect with other believers. Like the Japanese Otakuthey feel that technology has superseded their need for real world -real time relationships.
In many ways I feel sorry for local pastors who nowhave to’compete’ with thecreamofthe world’s bestspeakers; that they have to explain to their young adults why their worship service cannot compete with thelarge convention that is run with a giant budget, and who feel that they have to apologise as to why faithful old Agnes on the organ is not up to the standard of the professional worship band on the album they just downloaded. I can’tbut help thinking that they must feellike a forty something mother of two who has to compete with their husbands obsession with a twenty year old Brazilian supermodel.
Now of course I think that it is great that all of this stuff is available, technology has brought all kinds of brilliant resources and influences into reach. Yet technology always cuts both ways. When technology replaces our need for real time community we suffer as humans. My friend and colleague Dave Fuller once said to me ‘Church is important because it forces us to be in community with people who are not like us’. Philip Yancey once said that ‘Marriage is not about finding happiness it is about character development’. I think it is the same with church.
Without community the mere consumption of Christianresources can be a kind of pornification.Pornography is a one way exchange, it is a consumptive sexual act that is divorced from relationship. Devoid of human connection, it turns both the viewed and the viewer into an object. In contrast relationality humanizes, it moves us towards what the great Jewish theologian Martin Buber called an I-Thou encounter. If I consume pornography it requires nothing of me,I remain static; however my relationship with my wifeinspires me tobe kind, caringandunderstanding;it prompts and provokes
me towards growing as a human being. It is dynamic, it makes me want to be a better man. When we only consume Christian resources,it may challenge us, it may add to our knowledge, but nothing challenges us towards actual lifestyle change like Christian community. When you are in church and that guy with schizophrenia who yells in public wants to come outto Starbuckswith you and your friends after the service, it is good for you! God is teaching you something that mere information cannot. When you sit and worship and nut out the gospel with people who were born indifferent cultures to you, who vote different to you, who you don’t understand, who you would never normally make friends with; it grows you spiritually in ways that mere information gathering and teaching cannot.
So go nuts, download, read blogs and books, watch teaching DVD’s, go to seminars, whatever; just remember however these things cannot give you the medicine for your soul that only covenantal Christian community can.